Wednesday, November 28, 2012

16. The Dandelion Wars


Whether brought to North America accidentally by the Pilgrims or introduced purposely by the British, the Dandelion has demonstrated itself as an invader that has not yielded to defeat since its initial invasion over three hundred years ago. Adaptable, tough and patient there is nary a yard where it has not established itself to create consternation and toil.
Efforts to eradicate the weed has ranged from tilling, to burning, to manual extraction and chemical warfare. These efforts have resulted in naught but bare earth, regular house fires, tricked out backs and poisonous soil. It seems as though the tactics of the enemy have succeeded in doing more damage to the defenders than the invaders.
In any war it is of vital import to know as much as possible about the enemy. Examining this alien invader we find a variety of things that may well cause us to quake in fear.
The air assault is carried forth through tufted seeds that can ride the air currents almost forever. They descend when humidity goes up and the probability of rain increases and germination has better odds.
The tiny seeds are exceptionally adept at taking advantage of extremely small places. Cracks in sidewalks and crevasses in pavement give shelter and the potential for expansion.
Once established, the long taproot can access nutrients far below the reach of many other plants. The roots themselves, even the tiniest portion, can give rise to another alien in the same spot. ( A heads up to warfare tacticians – drop shredded dandelion root over your opponents territory. The resultant 'bloom' will drain their military funds to combat the 'yellow' plague.)
The mature plant is exceedingly adaptable. In often mowed areas it grows low to the ground while in unkempt spaces it will grow above its competition... in damp, wet areas leaves grow to enormous proportions while dry habitats produce tiny versions. In any scenario the reproductive ability varies but the inevitability of reproduction remains unchallenged.
Such information might be discouraging to many, but research has not ceased. Non-toxic, this alien has given up secrets that may lead to ending this centuries long conflict.
Roots have been used to augment coffee consumption. The fact that extracts from the dandelion root can be used to kill skin cancer cells was documented by the University of Wisconsin. As well, a major car manufacturer announced it would be using crushed dandelion roots to make synthetic rubber for auto parts.
Flowers of the invader have been used to make wine for generations. (The Roman God of wine, Bacchus, was well engaged in this struggle centuries ago) The thought enhancing lecithin content of the yellow heads has also been noted.
The leaves contain more than four times the amount of vitamin A than that of spinach, as well as an equivalent amount of iron. A further analysis shows the Dandelion consists of protein, fat and carbohydrates. Its mineral contents are calcium, phosphorus, iron, magnesium and sodium.
Although this final research may seem extraneous it leads to our final strategy and best basis for possible victory... 'If you can't beat em... eat em.'

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