With
the Holiday Season yet ahead of us I worry about my ability to
survive it one more time. It will take almost a full month to recover
from the excessive eating, the revitalizing visits, the frantic
shopping and the compulsive decorating. The repetitive experience of
Christmas stress makes the holiday just a little bit harder to bear
each year. In an effort to help revelers keep track of stress levels
the following test has been devised. The resulting score will help
determine the chances of the subject surviving the Holidays.
Holiday
Stress Test
Score
3 if the description applies often or always.
Score
2 if the description applies regularly.
Score
1 if the description applies sometimes.
Score
0 if the description applies never.
1.___
You have successfully completed your third annual throw up on Santa
visit with your 5-year-old.
2.___
You seriously considering running a rum/eggnog into the intravenous
drip that you have been using
for coffee up until now.
3.___
Your son's kidney/rib protector has become a required piece of
clothing before you head out to do Christmas shopping.
4.___
There is a rising urge to punch out the next boozy Charity Santa who
rings a hand bell in your face.
5.___
The cats litter box contains lumps that are threaded with multiple
strands of tinsel.
6.___
Your fingerprints have been removed by excessive use of cellophane
tape on Christmas presents.
7.___
You regularly change Christmas Carol lyrics into obscene variations.
8.___
You believe that Christmas Cheer is a long, loud raspberry.
9.___
You are serving the same Christmas Cake to company that you use as a
doorstop the other months of the year.
10.__
On Christmas Eve you hide in the bushes with a hunting rifle hoping
to fill your freezer with fresh venison.
11.__
When you tire of waiting for the reindeer you are increasingly
tempted to shoot out your neighbour's Christmas Lights.
Add
your score and see below for an explanation.
30
- 33 Welcome to my world !! Either your maximum level of stress has
been reached or you are the ultimate Christmas Redneck. If the latter
is true the holidays have no more impact on you than the rest of the
year.
20
- 29 Your stress level is high but there is definitely more room for
Grinching in your holiday.
10
- 19 Fence sitting will get you nowhere. Either apply for Sainthood
or get on with the program.
0
- 9 A home with tremendous peace and serenity. Please foreword
your address so that I can make arrangements to spend the Holiday
with you and yours.
No comments:
Post a Comment