Monday, December 3, 2012

30. Smoke Gets in Your Eyes


I have not always been a smoker. Before the age of twelve and between the ages 36 to 40 I never touched the filthy things. In the midst of an effort to quit the weed once more I confess that I identify more with those who puff regularly than the fanatics who haunt my every effort to imbibe.

I have a real concern about decline of smokers over the last decade or two. If this filthy habit is eradicated it will eliminate some of the most interesting social aspects of human nature. I can hardly number all the new people I have met and the wonderful conversations we had while we were desperately hunting for a place to light up.

A number of skills that I have can be traced directly to this long-term habit. In a crowded room I can quickly recognise others of my persuasion by the quality of their cough. To the never-would-I-pollute-my-body-with-nicotine individuals it is simply an expulsion of air. To those who have developed the skill we are able not only to identify each other but know if the cough means 'I've just come back from a smoke' or if it indicates 'I need a quick smoke....real bad'.

Many beginning smokers rely on recognising compatriots through yellowed fingers or the tobacco scented cologne that most of us wear. If they are true to their habit and practice it with diligence and drive they graduate to the level of auditory recognition of other smokers.

Those of us who live to old age pursuing our vice can look forward to becoming masters at this ability. My grandfather smoked for eighty of his ninety years and was considered a sage in this area. He was able to determine how many years a comrade had smoked based on the weight, fluidity, volume and resonance of the hacking he heard. He didn't have enough breath for both smoking and speaking in his last years so I never learned the finer points of this skill.

Tolerance for smoking is decreasing at an alarming rate. Signs abound that building are smoke free...that the smoking table in a restaurant is in the back (right beside the washroom)....that smoking is only allowed every third Monday of the month in odd leap years. I personally suspect that the push is coming, not from non-smokers but rather that treasonous group of individuals called ex-smokers. I can think of no other group with enough smugness, self-righteousness or lung capacity to run around finding so many ways to mess me up. As in any power struggle there have emerged some heroes who are fighting back to preserve the domain that smokers have burnt out for themselves.

Evidence of an underground resistance is emerging as more butts are being found in non-smoking areas and an increasing number of no smoking signs are being used to extinguish cigarettes. Only a small faction at present, I feel confident that it will grow as the need is felt throughout the smoking community. I am almost nostalgic as I think of how smoke-ins, protest marches and riots may once again occur in the future as they did in the 60's. I do know for certain if I will be there at that point......it will depend entirely on whether I am still burning holes in my clothing or if I have returned to long distance running and tofu.

No comments:

Post a Comment