Monday, December 3, 2012

32. The Effects of Gender on Illness

Many people, primarily women, have commented how the sexes bear up so differently when they are ill. Most comments are directed at the notion that men are wimps compared to their female counterparts when illness strikes. I would like to shed some light on this myth although there are some who would call me biased simply because I am male.

It has been a staple of the complaint that men are said to whine when they are ill while women endure. In rebuttal to this most twisted point of view I argue that men are simply more honest about the pains they feel. Simple statements such as my hair hurts..... I think there is something growing inside my eyeball or I don't think there's anything left to throw up are no more than bits of information we hunter-gather types rely to those who rely on us for roots and fresh meat. Personally I would think a partner would be more concerned when some mutated virus takes me to deaths door.

Women become just as sick as do their menfolk. They pride themselves in a stoic ability to endure whatever nature throws at them without complaint. I view this as a basic dishonesty on their part. I mean how am I to know she's not in the mood if have no idea she's ill. This denial leads to a degree of truly bizarre circumstances with some women walking barefoot in the snow to thank a neighbour for a kind word shared last August. I personally feel this dysfunctional behaviour makes about as much sense as a haemophiliac exploring masochism as a new hobby.

Another difference that makes little sense is a woman's tendency to keep an affliction secret. There are times when I thought all was well until I heard my partner retching in the toilet at three in the morning. My query of "Why didn't you tell me?", was not politely answered and the retching continued long after I had gone back to bed and fallen asleep. Stoicism is hardly attractive as I stare into puffy teary eyes and my partner barks "I'm just fine!!!".

Personally I find the males play by play account of what is happening to his body a much simpler, straightforward way of dealing with illness. Objective statements such as 'I'm going to throw up'.....or 'Can you get me some clean underwear? I don't think I'm going to make it'......or 'I just blew my nose. Does this colour look right to you?', simply inform our partners about the particular situation we are experiencing at the moment.

Another area where men seem to be light years ahead of women is in their ability to recover speedily. Give me a couple of days and everything is back in order. Women seem to require a rather lengthy convalescence. My partner had a headache every night for two months even after a rather nasty bout with the flu whereas my recovery from the same malady took only a week.As in all areas of life there is value in compromise. No degree of distance is impossible to overcome if one is willing to meet the other half way. Recently I came down with a killer cold and knowing my regular routine when ill I said instead that I'd "take it like a woman". A smile appeared on my partners face and the headache that had dogged her for two months disappeared shortly thereafter.

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