Friday, December 7, 2012

34. The Emotions of Winter


Skiing, ice skating, tobogganing or any activity that involves placing myself in a minus thirty situation for more than thirty seconds is simply out of the question. Even sitting in front of a crackling fire is questionable if it involves getting the wood from out of doors. Physical pursuits as a method of coping with the darkness, cold and bleakness of winter have long since given way to more emotional solutions.

As the days grow shorter my strongly developed sense of denial enables me to remain in a summer mindset. With the ever decreasing temperatures, whining becomes the first line of defence. Incessant and regular it does have a tendency to distance those close to me. However, isolation is a condition that suits me best during this time of year.

When the first flakes of snow fall an overwhelming grief response sets in. Coping with this malady is initially accomplished with bed covers drawn over my head and at least three days of calling in 'dead' to work. When hibernation is no longer an option there is a lateral move to fear. Fear that the car won't start... fear that an auto accident will occur... fear that winter will never end.

As winter conditions become more familiar, anger becomes the saving emotion of the day. It is primarily directed at drivers who are in the habit of using my roads and pedestrians who insist on crossing my streets, (personally I believe that 'Road Rage' should be shared equally)

As winter blows through these dark and bleak months I rely on anticipation to survive. Waiting for the Chinooks to blow through is sometimes the only positive thing one can focus on. These provide a joyful reminder that there does exist warmth in some remote quarter of the globe. The most difficult part of this short respite is its end. At that point it is necessary to review all the strategies that have been used to date and fine tune them to the situation at hand.

Through countless winters I have found that by the time all is working harmoniously, the white wonder of winter is quickly turning into the spraying slush of spring. I rejoice in the fact that my emotional journey through winter is finally at an end. As the icy slush from a passing car sprays onto my pants and runs into my shoe it serves as a reminder that new tactics are required as spring creeps out from under the snow.

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