Through the Looking Glass: 9. Drama Queen Defense

Monday, November 19, 2012

9. Drama Queen Defense

Drama Queen, unlike the descriptor implies, has no borders when it comes to gender. Boundaries fall in all areas including age, race, social position, sexual preference and geographic location. Our world is populated with a wealth of these psychic vampires, whose only purpose in life is to draw one in and feed on the sympathy, goodwill and attention of their victims.

It may begin with something as simple as a sigh... to which most souls would respond 'What's the matter? Tell me what's wrong.'. In simple human interchange a conversation is had and things are sorted out. With drama queens, however it escalates rapidly to " I have a hangnail !!! You did nothing to prevent it! You don't love me any more! I feel suicidal and its all your fault!!!'

The ability of these emotional sponges to draw in ordinary people is phenomenal. A quiet morning with coffee and paper can be reduced to 911 calls and ambulance rides before noon if these harpies of self interest are not kept in check.

A rant from a 'Bubba' about his right to carry a loaded AK-47 in his rear window rack or an extended whine offered by 'Bediehlia' surrounding the tastelessness of wearing white after Labour Day are no different. Both and all efforts of every Drama Queen are focused on ' I want it my way!..' and I will whine and complain and kvetch until you make it right.

It occurs to me that Drama Queens are little different than my own children were at that terrible two tantrum stage of growth. In remembering how I dealt with that behaviour then I am convinced that the same methods will be effective with these orgies of self indulgence by Drama Queens.

Various child behaviour specialists have suggested the following in dealing with tantrums:
a) Don't punish the child.
b) Don't reward the child.
c) Stay calm and ignore the behavior to the extent possible.
d) Keep the child safe.
e) Isolate the child if possible.
f) Don't let the disapproval of other people affect your response to the tantrum.

Having used these techniques on the variety of Drama Queens I have run into has proved quite effective. I expect the only real difference between my toddlers is chronological age. Given that the emotional ages seem to be quite similar I understand the effectiveness of such actions and encourage people everywhere to follow suit in dealing with these overgrown children.

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Introduction

Having moved at least twenty-five times in fifteen years has opened a world of learning to me. In six decades, an education ranging from the coldness of large cities to the isolation of remote rural locations to the busybody gossip of small towns and the wonder of the prairie and it's ocean of grass have all left their impressions on me.

Recently I relocated to a small city in British Columbia. It touted itself as a historical, cultural, educational and, over-all wonderful, place to live. Once I was past the trees and the rocks, the heights and the hills, the water and the wind, I calmed down and was ready to look at the people I was sharing that space with.

Every location I have ever squatted has had it's share of characters. Players in the cities along with the wide range of tinfoil hat wearers and baggy pants skaters were a given. Pop up strangers at odd hours surprised me with their appearance in the middle of nowhere. Rumours of my serial killer past from neighbours I had never met never swayed me. The wonder of gazing on the effects of wind on the grass ocean interrupted by a landowner enquiring why I was leaning on his fence was oft forgiven.

In this new locale a variety of characters as I had experienced elsewhere was a given. The density and variety of them however gave me more surprise than I would have expected.

I had heard comments about this place being a time warp to the sixties. However I only saw few that , by their appearance, I could say lived through the sixties. What apparitions appeared were younger and more colourful than I remember from that vague decade.

Purple haired strong armed accordionists, heavy head shaved violinists clutching tiny instruments, winter coated scarf wrapped individuals in shorts and oddly calm people with large coffees wandered the streets.

They wandered in and out of new age crystal shops, expressed opinions on local radio, bought nothing but organic food. They played jazz on squeeze boxes, made strings and wood sing in ways not intended, talked to themselves as they tightened their scarves and became more serene with each sip of coffee.

Characters here are more concentrated than in any other locale I have ever lived. It is a point of interest as well as point of concern.

It remains to be seen whether I will be mugged with organic carrots, side swiped by hooligan mountain bikers, be harangued with advice on dressing warmly or kept awake nights by jazzy sounds from an errant squeeze box. Whatever the outcome I am certain I could find it in no other place on earth to explore these particular uncertainties.

Until I am transplanted again, I extend every new-ager and boarder, every subculture economist and spiritualist, every would-be and wanna-be my deep thanks for extending me the opportunity of educating myself one measure more.