27. Morning People and Night Owls

There is no more difficult task in life that waking before one is ready. A warm bed can be quickly transformed into an icy run to the bathroom by the incessant buzzing of a treasonous alarm clock. The seriousness and import of returning gently to the waking world seems to be completely lost on alarm clocks and those identified as 'Morning People'.

Perky and cheery, they awaken long before I have even determined whether or not I am alive. Their enthusiastic "Good Morning!" sometimes creates an instant regret that I am indeed still breathing. As I struggle back to life my partner is washing the dishes that she created making Eggs Benedict, French Toast, bacon and freshly squeezed, organically grown passion fruit juice. As the cleanup progresses at a jaunty, energetic pace I am filled in on how good her morning run was, on the invigorating nature of the icy shower that followed, on the progress she made through 'War and Peace" and how she rebuilt the west wing of the house all before I woke up.

Many a day has been ruined in the first ten minutes, plans are abandoned and sharp words exchanged as the two worlds collide. 

Coffee is the miracle that saves more lives than antibiotics each day. Only after that first swallow or two does the desire to do harm leave completely. A partner's true character can be determined by their willingness to assure a supply of caffeine-laden liquid early in the day. It has been suggested that this may simply be a behavioural adaptation linked to survival however. Only when the sphincter muscle tightens and the caffeine tremors return am I assured that I can handle the coming of the day. 


As the caffeine rush masks my hunger nausea I am able to think about a simple breakfast of dry toast or a darkening banana. As I force this sustenance down my throat I remind myself that my partner is a "morning person" who rarely sees the wonder that exists when the sun goes down. I wolf down my last scrap of dry toast and stumble out of the door to work.